New start

Okay so it's been a month already since I wrote the last post. Sorry for being lazy, or should I say busy... Yes believe it or not I've finally started getting busy. After two awfully slow months, march proved a little better. Our film now has a title: "Puffer Fish" is almost done with post production and we just obtained the rights to two great songs for it. We're very happy. My involvement in it was as the lead actor as I mentioned in my last post. It was fun but I don't know how soon you'll see me stepping in front of the lens again...I was also credited as a producer which is nice and something I can actually throw on my resume. As soon as we have a trailer online I'll post a link here. We'll start submitting it to film festivals shortly.
Aside from "Puffer Fish", I put a lot of time and effort in a project that I am not to disclose any information about (yes I signed a contract). All I can say is that it was a time consuming yet fulfilling experience. As director of photography I had to learn and use a 3D modeling software to design the set and was given a lot of freedom with lighting. So I had a good time and our producers were very happy.
As for these days I'm prepping a feature that I will be chief lighting technician on (sounds way more important than "gaffer"). We start next week so a lot of my time has been put into getting the equipment list together with the DP. I'm also learning about scaffolding as we'll need to have light fixtures 20ft up in front of second floor windows.
I also updated my website with some new pictures and subtle enhancements. This one to the left I took just over a year ago in Lesotho. Probably my favorite one. Such warm and welcoming people. The kids are adorable and so excited to see foreigners. I need to write more about our trip down there. Another thing on my list. In the meantime I'm trying to get caught up with everything else before next week when my life will be stripped away from me for the shoot.
All else is good. Ideas have been brewing in my head lately and I'm getting close to wanting to sit down and start writing again. It's been a long time since I've put a story together. I think I'll approach things differently this time around. I want to take baby steps.
Alright this is about it for now. I'll try to get back here before the start of the shoot. All the best.

Void...

...of much to say these days. It's march and I wonder why I'm writing on this blog. Is it for me or for whoever (if anyone) reads these sporadic thoughts. Work is practically inexistant in my life. Three days of paid work in february. Only two lined up for this month so far. Where is this going? I'm trying not to think too much about it these days.
This week was quite busy though as me and the good ol' film school crew got together and shot a fun short. It was filmmaking at its barest. Guerilla all the way. One shot scenes. Improv to the max. Working the scene til we got to where we needed to be. An awesome experience. How to make a nice little thing come alive with no money and tons of creativity. Love it. Oh, and I was in front of the camera this time around. Had been years since I did anything acting wise. But definitely the most I did ever. Great times with great friends. That's what it should be about. It's encouraging and inspring to see what we could do with the bare minimum.
Switching gears, I have to mention how disturbed I was walking on State Street in Santa Barbara yesterday. I felt like Travis Bickel contemplating the cocktail of just-out-of-puberty college freshmen and human waste that floods the sidewalks and shops of the area. Did I not pay attention last time I was here or is it that something changed? The students is a given. But the amount of bums and filthy people really surprised and irritated me. From block to block, benches are occupied by homeless ranging from the younger rebel kids to the disabled immigrant playing guitar and mumbling a spanish song to the middle-aged bearded man having a conversation with an imaginary listener. From the tourist hating bum at the beach trying to get "tips" for making a sand castle to a guy up the street holding a fishing poll with a cup at the end of the line, I felt like telling other beggars along the way that they should find another occupation because there's too much competition. Walking out of a clothing store I thought I was entering a freak show. You go to Venice Beach, you expect it and it's part of the culture. But here in "gorgeous up-scale historic" Santa Barbara it doesn't quite pan out the same way. It really feels like people have a good excuse to become drifters and homeless. Being a bum is a job nowadays. And with the economy being in the shitter it almost makes perfectly good sense.
I'll end my cynical journey with a note on the oscars. Hugh Jackman started the show mentioning the tough economical times only to jump into his musical number. In a time of recession you'd think Hollywood would maybe tone things down a little and not put on a show that obviously cost millions of dollars while people out there watching are losing their homes and jobs. It's absolutely disgusting. There's no sense of moral ethics. It's all about money. Hollywood is capitalizing on the economical crisis like no other industry. They recorded the best january and february ticket sales ever. People need movies to escape. Hollywood's hypocrisy is mind blowing. One day they honor the departed by giving Heath Ledger a deserved oscar. At the same time Terry Gilliam can't even find a US distributor for Ledger's last film which also features Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Collin Farrel. Seriously?!

Trial and error

As you can see I've not been super inspired to write this month. It's been really hard seeing the days and weeks go by without work showing up. So far this year I've had one day of paid work (last weekend)... A little scary. People are having a rough time all around. The low-budget independent film world is suffering quite heavily form the economical crisis. 3 out 4 jobs on craigslist are for unpaid positions. Some postings are flat out ridiculous. People asking for the world for nothing in return. What to do now? I've been pondering on this for a while. Answers come and go. Right now the urgency is in feeling productive and creative. If I'm not going to get paid for working, I might as well do something that'll satisfy my need for creation. So in the coming weeks I'll be collaborating on a couple little projects with unemployed friends of mine. It'll give us an opportunity to not only do something productive but also work together on a stress free no strings attached project, which should be refreshing. I'm very excited about it. The first project will involve me stepping back in front of the camera, something I haven't done in years. It should be interesting. I look forward to channeling all this energy into a character. Then later I'll jump back behind the camera to create something that'll most likely be shot in the desert. Aside from that I'm always thinking of pushing my photography in different directions. I played with water the other day as you can see on the left. I also spent a couple hours downtown capturing the evening scene. It's a time of many reflections, and while applying for jobs on a daily basis I can only go with the flow and be as productive as I can.

As we advance

Wow, so it's already February! I have no idea where January went. I have nothing to show for it. All I did was spend my time looking for work, going to a few interviews and bitching to my other unemployed peers how damn hard it is to find a gig these days. Oh, sorry, I did win at poker last week. $40! And another $50 I'd won in Vegas a few days before. So I almost made it to a 100 bucks. That's my revenue for the month. An all time record. And guess what, rent is due today...
Anyway, as I mentioned above I was in Vegas about ten days ago. Not to party or drink myself to oblivion, but for a job. Unpaid. To help a friend. But everything was taken care of so I thought a couple days away from LA and my computer wouldn't kill me. It turned out to be a really fun time. I actually got a little taste of VIP treatment. Without going into too many details on how and why, my friend and I ended up getting a lift from Jay Leno. We flew there and back on a private jet, and had a limo to take us from and to the airport. Not too bad. We weren't working for Jay but he had a show in Vegas so it worked out well.
We stayed at the Palms where we had a room comped and were put on the lists to all the clubs in the city. So we took advantage of that and checked out the clubs at the Palms. The following day we shot a show at the Playboy comedy club. It felt really good being in Vegas for a productive purpose and made for a very different experience. And I came back with that extra fifty in my pocket. For the first time I wasn't leaving sin city broke and hungover. On the way back we talked movies and Jay voiced his deep "hatred" for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Needless to say we had some good laughs. After being dropped off at NBC, I hopped in my well dented truck and made my way back home to my job quest. It was a short parenthesis in this month of "cruel disillusions" (for dramatic purpose).
But it has been a rough month work wise. I'm at a point where I would take on an internship if it were at the right place. But even that's hard to come by. I applied for a couple and nothing. So basically I can't even work for free. What the hell! January is notoriously slow though. The threat of a sag strike might also be to blame, as well the economy probably. But it feels different for some reason. Maybe it also has something to do with me. I have high expectations for this year so my patience is probably lesser than it would normally be.
So I'll just go on and scour job listings. Something will pop up sooner or later. I took advantage of my free time to go see "The Dark Knight" on IMAX today and was blown away. Films like this inspire me so much that I walk out of there pumped and ready to move on to great things. It's so energizing. I also have to mention "Frozen River" which I saw yesterday. Really well written, structured and put together. It takes you on an interesting ride. You never know what the characters are going to do. I knew nothing about it and was pleasantly surprised.

We made it!

Yes we did!
This morning was an emotional moment watching our new president take oath. His speech was another very inspiring one and it filled me with joy, pride, confidence, and yes, tears. We can now finally look ahead and hope things fall into place sooner than later. It was a crazy year of politics and I'm glad it's over with. All the talking, debating, arguing and discussing were exhausting to me; and I was only here for the last few months of it all!

A year ago to the day I was in South Africa giving my thoughts about the possible outcome of the primaries to very curious locals. Interestingly enough most South Africans and Namibians we ran into throughout our journey thought Hillary would be a better candidate to the presidency and ultimately a better symbol of change.

During the same period Zimbabwe was gearing up for its general election. The people we met from there were all refugees who had fled the oppressive government of Robert Mugabe. Last year their country experienced the highest hyperinflation rise in the history of the world topping 100'000%. Yes, that's one hundred thousand percent! Just to illustrate the consequences, today thirty US dollars will buy you one hundred trillion Zimbabwean dollars (100'000'000'000)... If anyone is ready for change, it's the people of Zimbabwe. So the election took place and amidst high fears of corruption, Morgan Tsvangirai, the opposition leader beat Mugabe at the polls. At last the MDC (Movement for Democratic Change) had prevailed. My friends Anthony and his wife Celina, both from Zimbabwe and awaiting to see their five year-old daughter for the first time in two years were incredibly relieved to say the least. It was an emotional experience living through those days with them while awaiting the results.
But wait! T.I.A. (This Is Africa), and to cut the story short, as of today, after another bogus election last summer Mugabe is still in power and shows no sign of giving up what he believes is his "duty". Starving and brutalizing your own people? We obviously don't have the same concept of leadership.

So my point is... you might wonder. Well it's pretty clear. Today we celebrated the result of a fair and stable democratic process and I can only be thankful to be a part of it and have the privilege of living in a country where laws are upheld with respect and dignity. Even if the sight of Bush's helicopter disappearing in the sky over Washington was an image I could only dream of a few years ago, I know the guy (with all his flaws and mistakes) tried his best... in some way. What I'm saying is that even if the outcome of november's election wasn't what he favored, he handed power over with a smile and was willing to help with the transition because he respects the values by which our nation was founded.

Eight years of endless frustration, intense anger and unparalleled embarrassment have finally come to an end, thanks to a process that has been maintained by our leaders and the people for over two hundred years. I can only hope that the people of Zimbabwe and of all nations lead by oppressive regimes will once experience fairness and the satisfaction of believing in their government. This is a great day for Americans and for the rest of the world. Lets hope this new start can spark change in other places and trigger a dynamic movement of renewal around the globe.

As for Anthony and Celina, although they can't call Zimbabwe home anymore, they were reunited with their beautiful daughter Natasha a month after I left them in Cape Town. So when we lack hope, there's always love to fall back onto.

Cheers to Obama, Mr President!!!

2009 - the year of Target, Craigslist and SAG

Well I guess it's not too late to wish you a happy new year. It feels very different this time around. Not only for me personally considering I had a completely different experience last year, but everyone seems to be more "tame" and calm about it. I'm sure everyone's happy to bury 2008 but I think we're all a little fearful of this new one not knowing what's in store for us. I feel a mixture of that and excitement. I thrive on the unknown. It's scary but thrilling. It makes me feel alive.
So I haven't posted anything yet this month because aside from settling back into my old apartment (which is so great and convenient), I've spent most of my days browsing Craigslist, Mandy and all the entertainment job listings I could find. There's actually a lot out there these days. Probably the fear of a Screen Actors Guild strike is pushing many people and companies to get as much in the can as possible before the end of the month. So lets hope actors are not foolish enough to start this now. I agree there needs to be restructuring and producers need to be more fair towards performers but this is just the worst possible time for all of us to face a SAG strike.
Thinking of the tough economic times, I mentioned a couple posts back how bewildered I was at the fact that people were out shopping like crazy this holiday season. Well, guess what, it's not over. I was at Target last week getting a few things for the apartment and wholly shit I've never seen such long lines at the counter. A solid ten minute wait. They were evidently under-staffed, but there were still way too many people in there. I couldn't believe it and was almost pissed. First because I hate shopping, and second because I'd made sure to leave a buffer between the post-holiday craze and me venturing to Target. So needless to say you won't see me there anytime soon.
Now excuse me but I must continue my relentless job hunt. I hope we'll all experience great and exciting things this year, work on interesting projects (whether professionally or leisurely), and that Target will hire a few more cashiers.

What Christmas is really about

So I obviously sounded highly cynical and maybe even bitter in my previous blog but I want to reassure you that I do enjoy Christmas very much and on d-day felt very much in the spirit.
It's about the little things. Giving and getting gifts is a lot of fun of course. I especially love discovering what Santa thought I should have. This year it seems they had an overstock of boxer briefs and pistachios at the North Pole. Christmas was very relaxing, just the way it should be. I spent it playing monopoly and watching TV while sipping eggnog and munching on cookies, crackers, rolls and a delicious artichoke dip among other goodies. That's what Christmas is about. Being with people you love and sharing good times. Looking at decorations and remembering those amazing feelings as a child when it was time to put up the tree and lay garlands and lights on it. Flipping through channels and seeing classic films and cartoons. There's something reassuring about this holiday. The safety of being surrounded by people you care about. The hope for goodness in the world. I remember being always fascinated by the idea that all over the world people were celebrating and doing the same things at the same time. It felt like a communion. I'd stay up watching TV and would come across the midnight mass broadcast from the Vatican. I'm not religious but it always impressed me for some reason.
Christmas reminds me of being worry-free, having no rent to pay, no food to buy, no table to set, no dishes to wash; a time when we could just wait for Santa to drop toys down the chimney. Of course as a kid I couldn't enjoy eggnog and brandy or bourbon soaked macadamia nut ice cream, or throwing in ten bucks at texas hold'em. But I also remember wondering what less fortunate and homeless people were doing at that time. Were they alone or would they get together around a fire to share food they'd found?
Growing up, aside from discovering that the world doesn't come to a stand-still to celebrate Christmas, I realized how lucky I was being brought up in a safe and loving environment. I had gifts, food and warmth.
I guess in the end, however tacky it may sound, Christmas is about being thankful for what we have and thinking of others who aren't as fortunate. If you can read this blog it means you're most likely far better off than 90% of the people on this planet. So lets not complain. I do on my blog a lot. I vent mostly about the American system because it is the structure in which I live in and it has many flaws. However I wouldn't be here if I didn't love this country. Expressing yourself is important. This blog also serves as therapy. I can say what's on my mind without being afraid to bore my girlfriend to death or stem controversy around a dinner table. I realized a few years ago that positive energy will get you much farther in life than anything else. I've been happier and more productive since then. Bitterness and cynicism don't do much for you. So to defend my previous blog, I'll say I was just being realistic, nothing else. There you go. Leave it to me to make an argument for, then an argument against, and then a final judgment. Thanks for your patience. Thanks for reading. Happy end of year and see you in '09!