So I obviously sounded highly cynical and maybe even bitter in my previous blog but I want to reassure you that I do enjoy Christmas very much and on d-day felt very much in the spirit.
It's about the little things. Giving and getting gifts is a lot of fun of course. I especially love discovering what Santa thought I should have. This year it seems they had an overstock of boxer briefs and pistachios at the North Pole. Christmas was very relaxing, just the way it should be. I spent it playing monopoly and watching TV while sipping eggnog and munching on cookies, crackers, rolls and a delicious artichoke dip among other goodies. That's what Christmas is about. Being with people you love and sharing good times. Looking at decorations and remembering those amazing feelings as a child when it was time to put up the tree and lay garlands and lights on it. Flipping through channels and seeing classic films and cartoons. There's something reassuring about this holiday. The safety of being surrounded by people you care about. The hope for goodness in the world. I remember being always fascinated by the idea that all over the world people were celebrating and doing the same things at the same time. It felt like a communion. I'd stay up watching TV and would come across the midnight mass broadcast from the Vatican. I'm not religious but it always impressed me for some reason.
Christmas reminds me of being worry-free, having no rent to pay, no food to buy, no table to set, no dishes to wash; a time when we could just wait for Santa to drop toys down the chimney. Of course as a kid I couldn't enjoy eggnog and brandy or bourbon soaked macadamia nut ice cream, or throwing in ten bucks at texas hold'em. But I also remember wondering what less fortunate and homeless people were doing at that time. Were they alone or would they get together around a fire to share food they'd found?
Growing up, aside from discovering that the world doesn't come to a stand-still to celebrate Christmas, I realized how lucky I was being brought up in a safe and loving environment. I had gifts, food and warmth.
I guess in the end, however tacky it may sound, Christmas is about being thankful for what we have and thinking of others who aren't as fortunate. If you can read this blog it means you're most likely far better off than 90% of the people on this planet. So lets not complain. I do on my blog a lot. I vent mostly about the American system because it is the structure in which I live in and it has many flaws. However I wouldn't be here if I didn't love this country. Expressing yourself is important. This blog also serves as therapy. I can say what's on my mind without being afraid to bore my girlfriend to death or stem controversy around a dinner table. I realized a few years ago that positive energy will get you much farther in life than anything else. I've been happier and more productive since then. Bitterness and cynicism don't do much for you. So to defend my previous blog, I'll say I was just being realistic, nothing else. There you go. Leave it to me to make an argument for, then an argument against, and then a final judgment. Thanks for your patience. Thanks for reading. Happy end of year and see you in '09!
So I sent out my annual xmas card and among the responses one person humorously (I hope) replied that every year it was the same message. Yes it probably sounded the same. Duh. Guilty as charged. What can I say, I like the attention... or maybe it's just that every year we celebrate the same things. Sorry to all those I offended. Come on. I know my message was not tailored to every individual person I wanted to wish a happy end of year to, but spending two full days writing emails is not my idea of preparing for xmas.
On that note this year I have the hardest time getting into the spirit. After a year that felt like xmas every day and not working for the last three months, I guess I'm getting a little anxious to get back to creating and getting busy. Plus like every year xmas has been announced since Labour day in stores, on tv and all over. They blast their holiday tunes for months and by the time we get halfway to d-day you're ready to carry around a baseball bat and smash every stereo in every store.
The slogan for these holidays should be: "No matter we're in a recession, come spend whatever you have left."
I may sound cynical, but the bottom line is that even if I know and read of people suffering from financial hardship, it's hard to notice when you're walking through a mall and feel like you're in a meat packing factory the day before meat supplies are to disappear forever. Or is it that people are so disillusioned that they have to buy gifts to feel like they're not broke. Is it naivete or the "great American spirit" (whatever that means). Is it the prospect of a new president giving us confidence in the economical future of this country or simply a pride issue (not wanting others to see that you're struggling).
The media talk about how this is the worst crisis since the great depression. It's bad for sure, but we're light years from anything comparable to the early 30s. So lets not dramatize. Once again, politics of fear prevail. People in Washington wanted all these bailout plans to pass and they succeeded. No matter that no one knows today where are the 700 billion dollars (our tax money) that were unconditionally promised to banks. What's important is that we Americans united during these harsh times to help our economy get back on its feet. Right? We the people... Although I don't remember voting on that... but whatever. I have to trust that the one clown who claims to represent me and millions others knew that it would've been our vote. Trust in this day and age? Are you kidding? Well again I think we need a lot of re-structuring in this capitalist "democracy". The constitution is an old piece of paper written in a different time. Yet we hail it as the one "rule of law" by which we make decisions. Updates please! I get them on my computer every other day. We get them in dictionaries and encyclopedias every year. Everything evolves, science, medicine, economy, etc. School books are updated every other year. Yet the two "literary pillars" through which our country is run, the bible and the constitution are the same unchanged ruling textbooks. How many times can you interpret the same words?! Apparently many millions of times. Which to a normal human being should say: "hey, we can't agree on what this means. There's a problem there. Lets change it." Seriously. What the hell is going on?! Wake up damn it. No matter that everything else around has changed for hundreds and thousands of years, these two manuals apparently are timeless. Wow, then what am I waiting for? I really should get on the bandwagon and follow the undying rules of man and society. Silly me for doubting and questioning the unquestionable. On this Christmas day I should repent from all my sinful thoughts towards our one perfect nation... under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all... Yeah that sounds like it. For sure.
To get back to my initial thought, let me sound redundant in wishing everyone a merry xmas and a happy new year filled with great things.
Upon my return to Los Angeles I was asked numerous times how it felt to be back and if it was different in any way.
I’ve called this town home since I moved here in early 2000 so being away for a year was not all that “shocking”. Time goes by quickly when you’re busy and not paying attention to it. The city, its people and the vibe don’t change. I do however. My eye, perception and sensitivity have evolved greatly in the past 12 months. I come back refreshed, inspired and more energized. I know what I want and everything appears a little clearer. My aspirations, dreams and desires are strengthened and reaffirmed. I have more ideas and the will to pursue what I came out here for more than ever before. My sense of values and priorities has been heightened and bettered. The list goes on as the amount of good that came from taking this time off and seeing other horizons proves incalculable.
So as you probably guessed, I'm really happy to be back. What’s exciting is the feeling of rediscovery. LA’s a very particular place. I’ve always loved it for its diversity and dynamic atmosphere above all. Everything and anything is possible here. It’s a world of its own where extremes set the structure in which people set their lives. Traffic is something I (as all of us here) could really do without and was thrown back into really fast. Spending an hour and a half driving from the westside up to the valley got me thinking yet again of how crazy it is to have all these people on the road at the same time. In just five minutes of driving I had seen more people here than in the prior month spent in Wyoming and South Dakota. Then very quickly you get back into the rhythm, living between rush hours and avoiding the bad stretches as much as possible. The way you plan your day here is different than in any other place. Reconnecting with friends has been the best part of my return. Catching up and seeing where people are in their lives is very exciting. A refreshing feeling of re-energizing relationships. It’s so important.
By the way I finally saw “The Dark Knight” last night and wow, what a rush. Incredibly inspiring filmmaking.
I don't like to use the term "end" since unless death occurs, the journey of life goes on. It is the end not of the journey but of an extraordinary episode of my life. The journey continues and I am very excited for whatever comes next.
So here I am back in California. I apologize for not posting anything last week but it was a little crazy between Thanksgiving, the return to the west coast and updating my website. I hope everyone spent a nice holiday. Mine was special for many reasons. I was in Salt Lake City where I had seen Coldplay a few days before. What an awesome concert. Such great performers and just there for the love of it. It was my 30th birthday gift from Brooke. Thank you so much!
Thanksgiving was special also because it marked the last day of the amazing journey I set out on a year ago today. How fitting... I have a million things to be thankful for but I'll just mention a few. First and foremost Brooke who went on for the ride without any idea what she was getting herself into and trusted my ideas and judgments along the way (well, most of the time... I was far from always being right). Secondly my parents who have shown so much support over the years and welcomed me back home for a few months over the summer. What a great opportunity to spend all this time with them after leaving the house nearly ten years ago. Finally I want to thank all the people we came across this year and welcomed us into their homes. From South Africa to Switzerland and over to the US, we had the privilege of staying with great friends and family. Their generosity and kindness touched us enormously.
More importantly we found that we are all the same. No matter whether black, white, African, European, native American, democrat, republican, religious, atheist, healthy, sick, redneck, liberal, poor, wealthy, old or young, we all respond to the same emotions. We all love to breath fresh air, see beautiful sights, share experiences, laugh, eat, drink, etc. Where our opinions or tastes may differ, the core of our spirits remains the same throughout. And that's what gives me hope that although this world will never fully come to peace, we are working towards understanding each other a little better every day.
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